If you’ve ever said, “I’m confident, but…”, keep reading...
Women reach out to me because they are unhappy or not feeling fulfilled in some area of their life that directly or indirectly impacts their career. I’ve found in speaking with these women that there is some lack of confidence sitting at the root of most of their issues.
Two core muscles you must build:
Your BOLD muscle
Your ASSERTIVE muscle
Bold = Confident, Courageous, and willing to take Risks; Deliberate & Intentional
Assertive = Behaving in a way that expresses your Confidence, decisive, self-assured, while respectfully doing so without being aggressive
Can you see how the two complement each other?
Building both qualities helps to boost your confidence level, helps to gain respect, helps to keep you on track with what you really want, and helps you to move forward in your life and career.
Having these two complementary qualities provides you the ability to speak up for yourself, to act in your best interest, and not settle for less than you want or deserve.
Being Bold is pretty self explanatory. However, there’s a bit of confusion when it comes to assertiveness and what that actually means and looks like.
Being Assertive DOES NOT mean being Aggressive. There are fundamental differences between the two; whether or not you’re respectful. Aggressiveness is angry, sometimes loud, and most times disrespectful and not considering other people’s opinions and feelings. Assertiveness is considerate of other people’s feelings and opinions while stating your own.
Have more confidence at work by doing these 4 things:
Choose to act differently. If you’re typically not an assertive person, you have to make a conscious effort to change your behavior and SPEAK UP.
Practice saying No. If it does not serve you or in your best interest, say No. Try saying no without apology or excuses. IF you’re bold, you can use the one word sentence of “No.” If you’re not there yet, say no and state what you want and why. Remember, you do not have to apologize for your stance.
Get out of your head. Express your thoughts verbally / out loud / to someone. Be clear on what you are thinking and be clear on what you want.
When you don’t agree with something someone is saying, professionally let them know. Respectfully disagree and state your opinion. What’s your stance? Let it be known. Your opinion is your own. You can't get it wrong. And if someone challenges you, stand in place firmly, listen to what they have to say, then respond appropriately. In most cases, it's not a personal attack, maybe just a difference in opinion or a newly identified fact.
Practice, Practice, Practice. You can put these tips to action in your personal life for practice then work your way up to the office. Start small and build up to where you're voice is being heard and respected. Know the facts and speak them. Know your stance and speak it. Have an opinion? Let it be heard and do not apologize for having an opinion.